Sunday, June 15, 2008

Jefferson Hodge

Jefferson Hodge was afraid of cars. "I am afraid of cars," he said. Why was he afraid of cars? "Well, I am afraid of cars because they are killing machines." Jefferson was right. Cars do kill people.
Jefferson refused to even enter a car. "It is too dangerous to enter a car!" Jefferson exclaimed. They could crash into and kill you, you know. Jefferson lived his life in shame, away from cars. He lived to the ripe old age of 20. He was killed by a vampire bat in the cave he lived in.
Just kidding. He died in a bike crash.
Just kidding. He died from an infectious disease.
Just kidding. He was shot by a used car salesman. His testimony: "That's what you get for hating cars!"
Just kidding. He's not dead yet.


chickenboy said...

Omg...that just brings tears to my eyes, hearing an amzingly touching story like *sniff* like that. If I didn't *sniff* know better I would say that someone other then bish *sniff* op wrote that hert warming peace. The interwoven metephores about a mans struggle to raise his kid in a New York suburb are jsut apparent enough to make out, and...Well BRAVO! *stands up and begins slow clap, but stops after no one joins in*

You people just don't know good art when you see it.

shadowoftruth said...

Why has he not dieds yets..(three guesseses two whos this brillants grammer belongs five)

Vampi. said...

He's not dead yet because I'm keeping him in a cage in my closet.
Just kidding. I don't have a closet. He's under the bed.
Just kidding. He wouldn't fit, he's under my desk.
Just kidding. He's dead.