Tuesday, June 17, 2008

More on the Pirate Party

Well, thus far, the only members of the pirate party are me and my cat, and my cat isn't that into it. So I'm encouraging enrollment. Apparently my "maybe you get a hooker for about half an hour" isn't good enough: I'm increasing my offer to a hooker for an hour, then you can kill her and stow her body in a cargo plane, from which she'll be dropped onto the White House lawn. And, if you want, you can keep her after that. If you're into guys, change every "she" to a "he". Now that we've got more members, time to acquire actual power, for which I've created a grand plan. First off, we need to distract the existing political parties. We'll pay some terrorists to attack Alaska or something so the Republicans are obsessed over that, we'll insult the Democrats' mothers so they cry and apologize and hide in a corner, and kill all 4 people in the Green Party except for Nader. With everybody preoccupied with war, depression, or death, we can now make our move, as soon as I think of it.

5 comments:

chickenboy said...

I'v been considering joining your party. I was never realy a republican, I was only doing it to anoy James. I have always been independent, and the whole "1 hour whore" thing...is rather appealing. I already do the democrat thing all the time!!! James' mom is fat (it's true!)

Vampi. said...

I claim the Secretary of State of Insanity posistion....(And it's before and after ladies and gentlemen! Vampi you're first. I'll spin Pat. -whoosh- BANKRUPT)

Yes, I know I need a life... DONT JUDGE ME!

shadowoftruth said...

I'm so in... think that nader will join us

Liberal Atheist said...

If any of us have ever bought anything from Wal-Mart, Nader will hate us.

Liberal Atheist said...

Oh, by the way, I'm wearing pants I got at Wal-Mart. Sorry, guys.