Thursday, July 10, 2008

Look Over There, Thar Be Hookers!

I'm back, so let the lack of emotion commence.


As some of you might have gathered using your keen skillz of observation, I'm back from Europe. I actually got back Sunday, but because of zombies/random relatives, I was previously withheld. But here I am, ready to contribute to an almost unknown blog. Hooray. Several observations about Europe: 1. Lots of random porn. Porn everywhere. From "Erotik Sex Megastores" to children's toy stores, everywhere has at least one naked boob somewhere. It's insane. Imagine Shafo's subconscious, then imagine that everywhere. Exactly. 2. I found Waldo. He was on a small poster by an entrance to a loo in Paris. 3. German beer is awesome. Fuck budweiser, Germany is the winner. There was more, I'm just too lazy to think about it. Here's a question: what the hell happened to Darth Vader/Anakin between the first 3 and last 3 Star Wars movies? First three he was a whiny twit that everyone hates. Last three he goes all badass mofo. Is James Earl Jones that awesome? First one who tries to explain it with "Well, Padme died, so now he's dead inside", I will come to your house and pummel you with my fists and forehead. And then eat you. Then regurgitate you, then eat you again, just to make a point. Oh, and "smexy" is now an official word to be used whenever. That is all, now go back to whatever you were doing, as long it doesn't involve world peace.

6 comments:

Bishopk said...

There are 19 years between Episodes 3 and 4, allowing much time for him to conquer the galaxy and/or get bitchy.

chickenboy said...

My subconcious is like all about...oh right boobs and sex. I am 16 you know. Germany beer is amazing. well the dark beer is. The light beer is only so so, but the dark beer is GREAT. Umm the darth vader thing? It is just that the suit had some sort of evil spirit in it. Duh. Noobs.

Vampi. said...

Dude, smexy's been a smexy word for ages. Get with the times! Yeah, never talk to a German about beer.... their heads swell up to the size of basketballs and they strut around all proud of it. JUST because american's can't make anything but piss water DOESNT mean ya gotta act like a rooster.
As for Vader...you'd get pissy too if, after 19 years, you hadn't get any because of that lovely black suit thing. And yes. Yes, James Earl Jones is just THAT awesome.

shadowoftruth said...

i remember all the porn but did you see anyone pissing/banging/streaking on the streets because i saw 5/2/1 people as for anakin and darth vader getting your balls burned off by lava would probally make you all badass and "I hate the galaxy and all who inhabit it"

Cap'n_Jack said...

Hmm, let's see. 19 years exactly? Really? The fact that you know the exact number offhand is sad. Fuck you Bish. Uh, yes, German beer > crack and sex at the same time. Evil spirit? Go to hell Shafo. Exactly, I'm bringing smexy back. Like afros, although that'll probably fail. Yeah, lack of sex makes sense, but can't you work around that with the force somehow? Go JEJ! Decent answer...Vampi. 5/2/1 is not a number, it's either a date or odd fraction that comes out to 2.5, and I only got to see a football (soccer) rally. Balls, good point. But still.

shadowoftruth said...

no it was 5 people pissing in the streets 2 people banging and one dude wandereding around without any cloths on like my roomate...remind you to tell you about it sometime