Thursday, August 21, 2008

Analysis of "Stairway to Heaven" Lyrics

A detailed analysis of the famous and confusing Led Zeppelin song. If you haven't heard of it, just kill yourself now and get it over with.
Comments will have an asterisk before them.

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
*Obviously dased and confused (another zeppelin song)
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
*I don't know where to buy those
And when she gets there she knows if the stores are closed
With a word she can get what she came for
*So, obviously some chick with power. Can also use jedi mind tricks.
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
*Whatever the hell that is
There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
And you know sometimes words have two meanings
*This is true. It isn't a problem on any sign anywhere, but it's true.
In a tree by the brook there's a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven
*Man, philosophical bird. Who can talk. I needs me one o' them.
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
*Yes, we fucking know what she's buying
There's a feeling I get when I look to the west
And my spirit is crying for leaving
*Like the elves from LOTR! Is Robert Plant an elf?!
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees
*Could mean forest fire. Probably want to back away there man.
And the voices of those who stand looking
*Uh, creepy. If people stand in a forest fire and talk to you, that's bad.
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
*Fuck yeah
And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason
*What piper where? St. Patrick led the snakes out of Ireland with a pipe, then
*killed them. Let's not go with him so we all live.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
*More fucking standing people. I'm getting suspicious.
And the forest will echo with laughter
*Haunted forests are also bad. Especially if they're mocking you.
And it makes me wonder
*Are you wondering how many drugs you took while writing this song? I'm guessing a
*lot. Maybe you smoked a dog or something.
If there's a bustle in your hedgerow
Don't be alarmed now
It's just a spring clean for the May Queen
*What....the....fuck....Do you know what that means? I sure don't. I don't think
*anybody does. Can't he just speak fucking english?
Yes there are two paths you can go by
but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on
*That's deep man. Roads. Whoah. Seriously, where did this guy buy his LSD?
Your head is humming and it won't go in case you don't know
The piper's calling you to join him
*More shit from the evil piper bitch. Dear god, leave me alone!
Dear lady can't you hear the wind blow and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind
*Aha, the jedi chick's back. And now she knows where to buy her damn staircase.
And as we wind on down the road
*More roads. And they all lead to Rome, the apparent capital of illicit drugs.
Our shadows taller than our soul
*More philosophical stuff. Shadows are bad, and if there's more of them than your
*soul, you suck bitch because you didn't change your fucking road.
There walks a lady we all know
*We? "We" want to die at the hands of a damn pipe-player. So if "we" know this
*lady form the beginning, I don't want to know her. And stop including me in this damn
*song!
Who shines white light and wants to show
*Aka lightsaber. See? I told you she's a jedi.
How everything still turns to gold
*Still? When do things turn into gold? I haven't seen this happen. I want shit to
*turn into gold. I'll take some of that action. I'm game.
And if you listen very hard
*What? I couldn't hear you, I wasn't listening very hard.
The tune will come to you at last
*Ya know, if you play this song backwards, you get a secret message from Satan. So
*don't try to get the tune to come to you.
When all are one and one is all
*So Plant is apparently a musketeer elf. Damn that would be a kick-ass movie.
To be a rock and not to roll
*Whatever happened to roll? For a while it was "rock and roll", now it's just rock.
*What the hell? Did roll die in a tragic drummer accident or something?
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
*Because she found it on some wind, which can apparently supply your shopping needs.
There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
*Yes, we know.
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
*Why do you keep telling us? In case we need to know about this jedi bitch?
*Personally, I don't give a shit. Not one.
And when she gets there she knows if the stores are closed
With a word she can get what she came for
*Yeah yeah, more jedi powers of awesome.
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
*I fucking know. You've told me like 50 times already. I'm perfectly aware that the
*damn lady is buying heavenly staircases. Anyway, you didn't tell us why she wants
*to buy it. I need to know these things if it's so god damn important.
So, overall, confusing. Don't get me wrong, I love this song. It's legendary. Sheer brilliance. I just don't think too hard about the lyrics.

9 comments:

shadowoftruth said...

very very epic ideas about the stair way however. i seem to recall the piper stalking the weird jedi chick... who was off to buy a stair while the singer Plant wanders around europe looking for more drugs in a forest fire... hum

chickenboy said...

Well, we now know that jack has no literary mind. Zero percent. I would say look for the hidden symbols in the song, but Mr. Treece might get mad at me...

Oh, and you were probly right about the drugs though...

Cap'n_Jack said...

Of course I have a literary mind, but why would I use it on this blog, huh? I just used the easy cheap laughs method of literary critique.

Vampi. said...

and in doing so.. you killed a damn good song...

v.v

Cap'n_Jack said...

How the fuck did I kill it? I was merely humourously analyzing the lirics. The song's the same damn confusing beauty it always was.

Vampi. said...

-sigh-

Cap'n_Jack said...

That's what your mom said last night after she stopped screaming.

chickenboy said...

Ummm, sorry to disapoint you jack, but vampi has 2 dads. Don't know who you were "doing."

Cap'n_Jack said...

Two dads, huh? I did think the penis was rather odd for a woman...
(it's a joke motherfucker)