Sunday, August 3, 2008

An Idea

It'll be part of my standup routine one day.

I had a great idea the other day: automatic sliding doors on bathroom stalls. Imagine, if you will:
You're in a department store, carrying loads of bags for your wife. Suddenly, nature starts calling. Option A: Hold it. Option B: Leave your poor wife there with her purchases while you run away screaming. That's why I always carry an Option C. Here, Option C is to quietly tell your wife you're going to go look at some shoes, and then head to the sliding-door bathroom. This brings up another question. While your hands are full with packages, how can you unzip your pants? It took me two seconds to figure this one out: sliding doors on pants.
As far as bathroom stalls go, that would lead to seriously awesome pranks. Imagine, if you will:
A modern American using the public restroom. The American enters through the automatic doors - by the way, they wouldn't need to be glass doors. That would just be gross - and uses the facilities. Now, said American wants to return to their life outside the confines of the restroom. Alas, the door is locked! Luckily, there is a "call for assistance" button on the inside of the door. Upon pressing, it announces throughout the store, "Customer needs assistance in: taking a dump."


chickenboy said...

So essentialy what your saying is that you wont be a standup comedian?

Vampi. said...

/e smacks Larry upside the head...

be nice.

I thought it was funny... only problem would be if the automatic door on the pants malfunctioned at a very crucial time....