Thursday, August 21, 2008

A return to the regular comedy of the site

A contest

Ok so i have decided that we shalt haveth a contest pertaining to the amazingness of chuck norris jokes. the rules are simple
1. must be about chuck norris
2. no repeats
3. up to 10 jokes per post
4 the funniest jokes wins

The winner shalt reciveth one shiny new QUARTER
I shalt start it of
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light... Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark but because the Dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

If you submit the hand written answer to this problem to me (no typing so you can't just download the answer and print if off) you will win 2 Dollars must answer both parts in the smallest possible solution and no fractions of cows

Part 1
"The sun god had a herd of cattle consisting of bulls and cows, one part of which was white, a second black, a third spotted, and a fourth brown. Among the bulls, the number of white ones was one half plus one third the number of the black greater than the brown; the number of the black, one quarter plus one fifth the number of the spotted greater than the brown; the number of the spotted, one sixth and one seventh the number of the white greater than the brown. Among the cows, the number of white ones was one third plus one quarter of the total black cattle; the number of the black, one quarter plus one fifth the total of the spotted cattle; the number of spotted, one fifth plus one sixth the total of the brown cattle; the number of the brown, one sixth plus one seventh the total of the white cattle. What was the composition of the herd?"
Part 2

If thou canst give, O friend, the number of each kind of bulls and cows, thou art no novice in numbers, yet can not be regarded as of high skill. Consider, however, the following additional relations between the bulls of the sun:

White bulls + black bulls = a square number,
Dappled bulls + yellow bulls = a triangular number.
If thou hast computed these also, O friend, and found the total number of cattle, then exult as a conqueror, for thou hast proved thyself most skilled in numbers.



chickenboy said...

Well I guess I might as well put a few of my chuck noris jokes down...
Chuck noris can kill two birds with one stone
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
In responce to your bonus, I give no responce, because it is too easy to find the answer online and write it down...So this is my no responce responce.

Cap'n_Jack said...

Hey dumbfuck, it's kill 2 stones with one bird. Here's a few more: When God said "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said "Say please." Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and kick himself in the back of the head. Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard, his foot went back in time and killed Amelia Earhart. Some people wear Superman underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo's hiding. Chuck Norris has 2 speeds: walk and kill. Some people go hunting, Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris went on vacation to the Virgin islands; now they're just called The Islands. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be seconds away form death. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it bitch.

shadowoftruth said...

hey matt it doesn't matter if you look it up on the internet and write it down.