Monday, September 15, 2008

James Fenimore Cooper

I'll start out this post by saying: I am not a homophobe, I'm a gay rapistaphobe. Big diffrence. Normal gay people are fine as long as they don't try to rape me. Or (to put it in james' words) "dick around" after I fall asleep.

Second I would like to repeat possibly the funniest thing I'v heard this week, because I can't resist the urge: Obama said something to the effect of "putting lipstick on a pig doesn't mean it's not a pig." Do I think he was talking about any particular person? I didn't. Untill I heard the proof. This is such strong evidence that nobody could even try to deny it. Here it comes..."Palin is from Alaska, Alaskas second largest city is Fairbanks, Dougless Fairbanks was a silent movie star, stars change Hydrogen to Helium, When you Inhale Helium your voice gets higher, Womens voices are higher then men, and Women wear lipstick!!! Ergo, Obama was clearly refering to Palin when he made his Lipstick comment. Wow, he left a huge fucking hole in his story, didn't he?

Thirdly, because I don't really have much else to say, I'll actualy have to leave the computer and go start to do my homework. I still have Math, German, and Chemistry to do tonight, and it's close to 11 pm. Maybe I'll stay up all night, just because I havn't done it in a considerable amount of time...Oh, except I have surgery tomorrow, so maybe I shouldn't...or maybe thats double the reason I should. I'll have to see how long it takes me to do my homework, ay?

37 comments:

Liberal Atheist said...

Just to provide the context of the "lipstick on a pig" comment (not trying to be insulting to Matt here), Obama was referring to John McCain and specifically how he's failed to delineate specific differences from the President on economic issues, which Obama believes is the most important issue in the campaign (economics, not being different from the President.)

So he said that picking Palin was just putting lipstick on a pig - not to say that Palin is a pig, but her (and McCain's) policies symbolically represent a pig. And yes, I get that Matt was being sarcastic.

However, I have to say this. (I AM trying to be insulting to Matt here.) Are you only afraid of gay rapists, or are you also afraid of straight rapists? I.E., are you afraid of straight women who would drug you and force you to have sex with them against your will? Personally I'm scared of both. Mostly because the straight ones would probably be ugly.

Liberal Atheist said...

Oh, and good luck, don't die, don't have any surgical accidents. Come back with a normal number of limbs!

Bishopk said...

are you afraid of straight women who would drug you and force you to have sex with them against your will?

Against my will? What?

Liberal Atheist said...

Picture a woman so hideous or screwed up that even a nerd wouldn't want to do her, Bishop.

shadowoftruth said...

such a women doesn't exist james... unless she was once a man and didn't pay the surgeon enough to become a full women... and besides thats what magic mushrooms are for..

IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF THE INTERNET
http://xkcd.com/330/

chickenboy said...

I agree with Bishop/sean. There is no such thing. And sean, your example with the surgeon I would consider to be a gay, meaning it goes back to my gayrapistaphobia.

Yea, I don't think he wasn't talking about Palin, or any particular women. It becomes fairly obvious to anyone who actualy listened to the speech. I think it's pretty funny to watch the people on the news talk about the lipsticked pig though.

I also got through my surgery fine with limited/no pain or somplications. I actualy got a double dose of my pain meds though :-) They gave me some yesterday after the "supposed to be but failed" operation, and some more today. Their bad. I'll just sell the extra ones to my sister or something...And yes, I'm just kidding, we told them their was a mistake because I already had some, so we gave them back.

Liberal Atheist said...

What if it was a woman who carried several STDs (or all STDs)?

shadowoftruth said...

use latex james you will live

chickenboy said...

Wow, well as untrue as that is...

How bad are the STD's? I mean for us it's probably a once in a life time oppertunity. I might still be somewhat all right with it. Then it's not considered rape: well unless she is 18+ years old.

Bishopk said...

Creepiest. Conversation. Ever.

Vampi. said...

you know some women are allergic to latex... could get ugly.

Careful
And yes it is possible for women to rape men and women to rape women. Just cause we don't have dicks(or at least most of us dont) doesnt mean we cant for a man to do the nasty.

Bish... next time give me a chance to READ the damn thing... ugh. v.v

Liberal Atheist said...

I'm just going to say one word.

Dildo.

No homo.

Bishopk said...

James, you do realize I'm actually going to have to see you tomorrow? I don't want that to be my last thought of you.

chickenboy said...

James, I relize that you have been having someproblems in this regard, but Dildo no homo is 3 words. It's ok, just call me up next time before you start counting, I'll help you.

chickenboy said...

you know some women are allergic to latex... could get ugly.

Only women? Sexist bastard. I'm allergic to laytex. They have non-laytex condems you know...

Liberal Atheist said...

"no homo" was an afterthought. Besides, if I hadn't said it, I'd be gay. I'd rather be stupid.

Vampi. said...

"you know some women are allergic to latex... could get ugly."

I had typed that exact same thing and then went on to something about homo's having dildos last night, but I never posted the comment. >,<

shadowoftruth said...

you relize that a dildo or some other kind of strap on is the only way for a women to rape a man in this country... because by defination rape is against ones will and if a man gets a boner then it isn't technickly against his will therefore its hard to get raped in a stright way

chickenboy said...

It could to be against his will...techincly the male body part does it when you get a sexual urge. I'm sure some man somewhere doesn't enjoy his sexual urge or something.

That was a laod of bs, I am just trying ot be argumentative.

shadowoftruth said...

well if some man doesn't enjoy is urge as you put it (for the sake of argument) then he would be removed from the gene pool and would thus be of no concern after one generation and no matter what you belive more then one generation has passed

chickenboy said...

Well (for the sake of argument) this particular case could be around now because of some sort of gene mutation. Thus, not had a chance to be out of the gene pool (and might not ever have the chance, because he was raped and may or may not have children).

Vampi. said...

Have you guys never seen the episode of CSI where they found a woman who'd been raped...with a pistol?

It doesnt HAVE to be a dick or something in the shape of a dick, simply forced unwanted penetration of the bum and/or vagina.

I don't believe people want to believe men can be raped because they A. simply can't perceive women as violent or forceful, B. find the idea of a man who is supposed to be the stronger, more domenant gender, as a victim, and C. Not many people think of bondage.

shadowoftruth said...

yes well pistol falls under strap on i guess some what but you have a point
Bondage isn't rape because the men like it more then likely

Vampi. said...

All men aren't like you Sean. A lot of em like it gentle. Or they like to have control. Bondage doesn't allow that...

Btw, bondage isnt always about leather and kinky stuff. Being bound and gagged and having object forced into you... seriously. ouch.

Liberal Atheist said...

I'd just like to remind everyone that the last time we got this many comments, we pissed off the entire South. Not that that's a bad thing. Those fucking racists.

Vampi. said...

/e giggles

could be worse... we could be pissing off the world O_O

ok not all that worse but still XD

chickenboy said...

Now who are we pissing off? Prostitutes, rapists in general (esspecialy the gay ones), Men who don't enjoy...well read back for more info, McCain, Palin, Obama, P.E. teachers, oh nerds, ugly women, thsoe of us who are allergic to laytex, those who take "magic mushrooms", surgens who can't complete sex changes correctly, those considered literary genius', poor people who want sex changes, News anchors, liberals, conservatives, stupid people (the ones who can't count), Gays (because james said no homo), the south (again), pigs, etc.

Not only that, but we were being racist and sexist (and sexy!!!). We are defintly Juniors in high school. Btw, we never upset literary genius' or Pe teachers, I made that part up.

Bishopk said...

You forgot Biden.
Or did you intentionally leave him out?

Vampi. said...

speaking of Biden... is it just me or is he simply not getting the publicity Palin is getting?
I rarely hear his name, these days it's getting harder for the old white men to get attention. (there another group of people to be pissed at us/me)

shadowoftruth said...

according to Godwin's law one of us is about to mention the nazies

chickenboy said...

Good job Sean, you jsut proved the law correct. Oh, and we never actualy offended Biden, because we never actualy mentioned him. Untill now. Biden is a old white liberal who got raped by a female cat. The cat wouldn't have done it, but he accidently took a whole bottle of viagra; temperarily making his dick visable to the un-aided eye. Even with all the "male enhancments" it was still like throwing a hotdog down senior hallway.

Hows that for dissing the old fucker (strictly firgrative, not literaly).

Liberal Atheist said...

Both of the pairs of candidates have a dominant personality. Don't read anything gay into that. Obama is more forceful (and charismatic) than Biden, so he gets mentioned more, plus he's the actual presidential candidate...

With Johnny Mac and Palin, however, Palin is the more charismatic and popular one. But since Mickey's the actual candidate, it (somewhat) balances, and they both receive (approximately) even coverage.

Poor Biden isn't a forceful speaker and isn't the actual nominee, so he gets nothing. Except his speech at the DNC, which I thought was pretty good.

chickenboy said...

WHO CARES??? This is commedy site, we actualy don't give a fuck about politics, and even if we do, we make fun of it. Nothing you ever say about politics is actualy funny. Lighten up, make fun of somebody. Say that McCain is actualy jonah (from the bible), but they got it wrong! He was actualy eaten by a dinasaur, not a whale!

Or say that Palin is superwomen, but a radioactive Moose took away all her strength and flying abilities.

Or (god forbid) say Bob Shaffer is in the pockets of big oil. Literaly. He was literarly hit with a shrink ray (like the on in honey I shrunk the kids) and stuffed into the pocket of someone on the staff of a large oil company. Who fucking cares what Obama really meant by the pig comment? He said it really badly, and it was a huge rookie mistake...make fun of him!

Liberal Atheist said...

I care about politics, and politics is sometimes funny without added characterization. Really. Like, when Palin first heard that Clinton had dropped out of the primaries, she said "So Sambo beat the bitch!"

Or when the RNC spontaneously burst into chants, like "USA" to cover the entrance (and subsequent forced exit) or a protester, or "Drill, baby, drill!" in support of offshore drilling. Or, during John McCain's acceptance speech, he mentioned offshore drilling and someone in the crowd screamed out "OIL!"

All of these incidents are hilarious when you hear about them.

Also, why the hell don't all of us care about politics? Seriously? Politics can fuck us severely or help us unite and do good for people. Why don't we care?

chickenboy said...

I care about politics, but WE as a collective group on wisecrack express don't care about politics, and when we do, it's because were making fun of it. We shouldn't be posting serious politics...Leave that for CNN or some ACtUAL news site. We (again that collective we) are for commedy, and nobody comes here to listen to a liberal gripe about politics unless you have a funny twist in it. YOU NEVER DO. I understand politics CAN be funny, but you never talk about the funny politics. you are always like "what he meant by that..." or "thats not actualy what he said..." after I make fun of some political advisor. Your so serious about my jokes, but only my jokes about liberals. If I say something about a conservative then you join right in, but if I joke about a democrat your like "WHAT? Thats taken out of context, he was talking about his foregn policy experiance!"

Essentialy, either be funny, or stop talking about politics. Make your own blog to rage at Fox news and all the other "completly un-biased" networks that you were defending.

Liberal Atheist said...

Alright, alright, I'll try to make my commie propaganda funny.

Hey, so Stalin walks into a bar...and he throws it in the gulag!

...no? Okay, fine, I'll try again later.

I'll try to realize that you don't believe most of what you're saying and are just kidding...try. Might not work out, but I'll make the effort.

And the reason I jump on you for lampooning liberals is because I am liberal. D'oh. Of course I'm biased. I'll try to moderate that as well.

I'm pretty sure you're not really going to do any of that...doesn't mean I can't...

final sticking point, though: I don't think any network's completely unbiased, and would not be stupid enough to claim that. With my "liberal media" rant, I was trying to get across that the Big Three networks aren't always liberally biased and aren't always searching for a radical liberal viewpoint to broadcast. You're going to disagree with me on that, and that's fine. Opinions are opinions and we both have faith in our side, and nothing either one of us say or do can change our beliefs.

Vampi. said...

You may be liberal.. but you don't have to define yourself as such.

And yes, I believe it to be wise to bring the site back to our regularly scheduled programming.

-sings- I'm a gummy bear oh I'm a gummy bear...-wanders off into the distance-