Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Stock Market Drop?

A somewhat ignorant man approaches a jury on behalf of himself

I come to you today, not as a lawyer, or a judge, but simply a man asking; nay, begging for his freedom. Did I ruin the lives of 18 people? Yea, but every single one of those people DESERVED to die. Take Jonathon Kringle for instance. He came at me with a knife. I don't completely blame him (because I had just killed his wife) but maybe next time he'll think twice before trying to attack me. Those 174 rounds in the face will teach him. Next example is Jany Hoops. She thought that just because she was a police officer, she suddenly has the right to stop me from beating the hell out of a hobo. "Oh, hobos have rights too," SHUT UP! God dammit, all these new rules about not beating up minorities and children. When did our society fall this far down the tubes? Just throw our whole fucking country down the toilet.......*a short time later* In conclusion you better find me not guilty, or my kill count will start going up. Will I kill you? No. I will kill your wives and children. Then I will cut off your fingers, then you arms and legs, then take a potato peeler to your head until you cry for your mothers. That is why I believe you guys should not find me guilty of cruel or unusual methods of manslaughter. That is all.

25 comments:

Vampi. said...

...That's not manslaughter... That's just life. :D

err... I mean.. SHAME ON HIM! >.> <.<

What on Earth possessed you to write this and where can I get some?

livetrapper13 said...

i never knew pants couldbe so funny.

livetrapper13 said...

how do i make a new post?
and how do i get my $@##$$%@%$@%$#$#$@# picture on my profile.

Cap'n_Jack said...

1. You press the pretty button labeled "New Post". High tech shit I know, but still.

2. You know, you can swear. Look:
shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd twat pussy bitch cock ass fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

chickenboy said...

If you get the time Alex, you should go look at some of Jacks previous posts. I particularly like the one about Cap'n michael. It prooves you can cuss on this blog.

On Jacks first count he is wrong, because Jack (ignorant as he is) forgot that you need to be excepted by Bishop's gang of merry lass's and he rarely lets people in to write on this blog. Except for us losers.

Vampi. said...

And me >.>

chickenboy said...

Yea, like I said us losers. If you are talking on this blog you get grouped with the rest of us. That means you art lo0ser (with an accidental but permanent 0)

Vampi. said...

I art winner... got my paintings hanging up in my old school xD

chickenboy said...

Oh, my bad! I hadn't realized you were so famous. Under those qualifications I'm a winner...because ummm...God Dammit, I'm just a huge lo0ser!!!! :-( *cries*

Vampi. said...

-giggles-

Btw, Jack, I don't believe "turd" and "fart" are swear words... just very shitty ones. xD

Cap'n_Jack said...

Fuck you, it's on George Carlin's list. Therefore, they are swear words. (complete list: shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd twat)

livetrapper13 said...

i know i can swear but sometimes you cant find a swear word thats bad enough so you have to make up your own, like @#$@$#%&^^%###%^$$@$^^&%%#%%&%%#@%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thats the word for jame's haircut

livetrapper13 said...

can somebody tell alaska to accept me into his gang of "merry lass's"?!

livetrapper13 said...

hmmmm.... let's see if my new profile works.

livetrapper13 said...

fuck yea!!!!
but bish still needs to accept me ( i am part of his life)

Vampi. said...

FUCK YOU JACK! That is George Carlin's List of words you can't say on television. Get yer facts straight. He explained that there was simply no context or rhyme or reason anyone would ever have to say fart or that no one would want to say turd on television.
GEEZ.

And good luck getting "in" Alex, took me a month of comments and then begging and bribing. Yeah.. and I barely post. v.v

Bishopk said...

Heyy! Your picture is you with corn!

Kyle said...

Just because lots of the replies to this blog entry include it, and I want to fit in...

"Fuck."

Vampi. said...

Lol Kyle... v.v

Wow... thats a lot of corn

Cap'n_Jack said...

Fuck you everbody, you should know by now not to take me seriously/interpret what I say. So just FUCCK OFF!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!



That is all

Vampi. said...

I feel like that was directed at me in a way >.>

Lol. Well... ok :D
Shit x a lot since I'm too lazy to copy and paste shit

chickenboy said...

Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon Lemon

HA! That is all.

Kyle said...

Emily Williams, I just lost the game!

chickenboy said...

Son of an Emily Williams, me too. I hate you kyle. Now every time that I see this post I will think of the game. Or if I just think about this post I will. I blame Marc Udall.

livetrapper13 said...

bish if you don't accept me i will, um.... do somthing bad, yea thats it i will do somthing bad.