Sunday, October 12, 2008

Peeping Tom's Got NOTHING On Me

I got bored... what can I say...
Warning: This post may be unsuitable and possibly harmful for younger audiences. Reader discretion is advised. Possible, but temporary, side effects include, but are not limited to; Bleeding of the eyes, insomnia, constipation, dizziness, shortness of stature, pain in the neck and posterior, and in rare cases death.

Alright, like I said, I got bored. Since Bishibosh over there keeps pestering me to post I guess I might aswell attempt to create funniness while the pain that is just above my ass slowly gets worse and worse.

So, I was stalking the site and decided to go look at ya'll's profiles. Yeah, I was THAT bored. Me, being the bitchy one that decided to take a humorous yet cynical look into the people that so inhabit this blog.

So... who to start with. -shuffles things around on the desk and opens and closes drawers randomly-
Ahh yes how about... LARRY! Yes Larry shall do.
Gay, gay, gay, homo, fruity, flamboyant, yeah GAY. Oh... wtf is cheese boxing? All I can imagine is two cheese sticks with a couple strings pulled half way down for arms. They'd be like... YO Muthafucka! Did you eat my homie!? Yeah! Yeah! I bet you did you mozzerella piece of crap! I know why too son! Its cuz I'm CHEDDAR isnt it!? Yeah that's right foo. Us cheddars got it rough yo! Yeah. Yeah. Walk away foo. You know you ain't got flava to back up that wrappa.
Yeah I'm done.. >,< OK, next up is.... umm.. right. My Liberal friend there James...(I think, I'm still bad with names) You. You have good taste in music. But... no Godsmack? Ugh. Failure. And seriously? Indiana Jones? You totally know that's all bullshit stuff. I mean, come on, Harrison Ford may be good, but he's not THAT good. You know what I wanna see? I wanna see Sean Connery actually bound and gagged and being slowly lowered down into the pit of doom of your choice. And then! The chick lady come to the rescue and cuts his rope and then they both fall into the pit of doom and then the movie's over. Yush... excellent.... Ohhh Seeeeeaaaaaaaannnnnn. Yeah, time for your torture by Vampi. <3 You have great taste in books! Oh the glories of Dragonlance. But, you seem to be missing a good series or two. They aren't Dragonlance BUT they're very similar and you'd enjoy them. Look up the Belgariad series and the Mallorean series, both by David Eddings. I know I couldn't come up with anything to critique really. This comment is no more. It has ceased to be. THIS IS AN EX-COMMENT! And now for something completely different... Bish... I know you're reading Bish. I'm watching. THEY are watching. Right, you're up. You know.. simply based on your profile HERE, one might assume you're boring. So.. I'll spice it up a bit. Bishopk Interests - Making fun of James, and Larry, and Sean, and Jack, annnnd sometimes Vampi. Also likes long walks on the beach followed by a nice relaxing game of Tetris. Favorite Music - Flight of the Conchords, Vampi singing like a goat, Garth Brooks, Hurly's redition of "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor Favorite Books - Artemis Fowl, I Am America(And So Can You!), the works of Immanuel Kant (Philosapher) Yeah, SEE! I DO pay attention... sometimes... Livetrapper. I dont even know your name... Corn Guy I suppose you shall be dubbed. Seriously... Veggie Tales?! How old are ya kid? Geez. I think the last time I saw a Veggie Tales video... I was 7. Are you 7? Are you some strange 7-year-old agricultural mastermind who stumbled upon some mutated form of pesticide and it made you age 6-7 years? -sniffles and stiffles a sob- Were you... were you a victim of the Killer Tomatos?!? -burst out in tears of pity and laughter- Jack. Jack you butt plundering feind! You are next. Ground control to Major Jack! Yes... yes... This may just be me, but you seem to be slightly stuck in the past. Pirates... musical classics... hmm.. Yes. I think you're from the past. You must have been experimenting with some strange kind of black powder to make the cannons be clean after they fired or something and you somehow exploded yourself into the future. Yep... that's probably how it was done. (I know I'm lame but yeah I'm getting tired.) VAMPI's TURN!!! You are a sexy beast. Yes, you are! But, you were an idiot and messed up your back. How on earth does a 17 year-old, who does absolutely NOTHING all day long, herniate a disk in her back? It's unfathomable. Honestly woman! You're supposed to be youthful, strong, active! And you've been deminished to a pile of BLAH! You pitiful wreck. So. All in all, I think this was a good post. Informative, sarcastic, mean. Yup, that's it. Comment all you want you bastards! I WON'T STAND DOWN! I WILL SURVIVE! I WILL SURVIVE! Hey Hey! -discos into the other room-

Bishop's note: This post temporarily destroyed the blog. Close your span tags, people!


Kyle said...


Bishopk said...

You listen to me?
And some of those things I didn't even remember I liked. Hurly's singing, for one.

Vampi. said...

Goes to show I know you more than ya know yourself. Mentally at least xD

wtf Kyle?

Cap'n_Jack said...

1. Butt plundering? Really?

2. I listen to the classics because they're classic. Plus I hate crap pop, which takes out almost everything made after I was born.

3. That is not how you clean a fucking cannon. Black powder would just make it dirtier. You stick a giant swab on the end of a big stick in and then it's clean (bow-chicka-bow-wow). If I did suffer such an accident, it would have been while firing said cannon, as that actually involves explosives. Dumbass.

Bishopk said...

Ass pirates! Woo!
(really? You don't know tl;dr?)

chickenboy said...

Wow. Well, I will ignore the apparent ass raping at the beginning of this post, and skip straight (haha, using the opposite word of what were talking about to get to it...which didn't make since) to the gayness infused throughout my profile. First of all, please tell me you realize that it was all a pretty big joke, and that I change my profile every couple months to something stupid with a theme that would be considered out of the ordinary. Mainly just cuz I'm bored. Oh, and you totally called what cheese boxing is. I don't know how, but you knew exactly what I was talking about even when I myself didn't understand about what it was I was talking about. If you understand that and didn't explode or fall asleep then you win the game...which I just lost. Dammit!!! I blame Marc Udall.

chickenboy said...

I decided to post that because it has nothing to do with the topic of discussion.

livetrapper13 said...

DAMMIT HOSE!!! FUCK MARK UDALL!!! (or maybe not, only if you are gay, or if you want to ruin his political career. ha, who am i kidding he has none! back to the topic...)(damn that made me think of ted haggard, H for hipacrite(forgive my spelling it is back with my seven year old body), now really back to the topic.....)

so first off yea me for blogging with a 17 year old girl. i can see the newspaper titles now... "16 YEAR OLD HOT STUD MUFFIN CHATS WITH A SEXY BEAST OF A 17 YEAR OLD GIRL, NEW RECORD FOR THE STUD MUFFIN"

second off...
i am not 7+6 or 7 which would equal 32 or 34 but i am actually 16 (hard to believe aint it?)

i do not use pesticides on my corn, instead i spend 10 hours a week weeding it and taking care of it so it grows nice and big. i also water it so the ears of corn get really big. ( i tried this on my dick but it did not work :(... sadly) and yes i have no life in the summer, work, weed corn, sleep, fish, repeat. (no not repeant)

and finally!!!
thanks for calling me a "agricultural mastermind". that will have to go in my book of compliments said to me ( it is very empty)

p.s. if you find this post to long and offensive than blame Mark Udall. dammit i lost the game.

chickenboy said...

You just admitted to having a small penis. Whoops, your bad.

Vampi. said...

dude, you totally just admitted to having a small penis.

You missed the point of the black powder that somehow magically CLEANS the cannon. you know, innovative stuff.

Yes I know it was a joke Larry :P

And no... I don't know tl;dr

Liberal Atheist said...

Did he just admit to having a small penis? Dude... he TOTALLY just admitted to having a small penis.

And I thought everyone knows tl;dr.

Liberal Atheist said...

Also, I updated my music section with new bands for Vampi's approval, as it seems necessary.

Vampi. said...

zomg yumm. Trans-siberian orchestra's Revenge of the Sugar Plum Fairy is my faaaaavorite

No, Bish had to tell me what it stood for. Must be a nerd thing :P

livetrapper13 said...

dammit i lost the game.
and what the fuck is tl;dr

Cap'n_Jack said...

Too long; didn't read