Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The Votes Are Cast....

...tallied and sorted. The next American President IS....


VAMPI! Yes, it's true. Vampi is now to be known as "that idiot girl who's running the country". Now for her speech.
From here on out... everyone and I mean EVERYONE, must have cake for breakfast. It may start a new, 'healthy cake' movement, but it will be so because I, Vampi, decree it. Children will be allowed to play in the streets again. Less homework will be given out and recess will return to all schools! Good, decent morals will be instilled into our children, children of ALL ages. No more will there be idiotic, greedy, vain people teaching our children what life is about. NO! We'll teach our people, the American People, to live again. To find what life is really about. Stock markets? PAH, who needs stocks when there's lemonade and hot cocoa stands! Sky-high gas prices? No more! Who needs gas when there's rollar skates, bicycles and the ever present FEET! Don't have feet? Well... that's where motorized scooters come in to brighten EVERYONE's days. Obesity will be demolished!

Yeah... the campaign was a load of crock. We'll see what Obama's got. If he does good for the country, yay, if he doesn't I blame the American People.

Save the whales! >.> or just the shrimp..

8 comments:

chickenboy said...

Sooo, how will motor scooters help solve the obesity crisis? Everyone will just be claiming not to have feet willy nilly!

Vampi. said...

I know! Everyone must have a Wii! That way.. they'll still have to move around even with motorized scooters! AH HA!

chickenboy said...

Where do you propose we get the money for all the Wiis and the motorized scooters. You can't expect the poor to be able to afford those kinds of luxuries!

Kyle said...

Kill the poor. Problem solved.

Vampi. said...

Ahh that's where "government funding" comes in! We say a nice "Fuck you" to Iraq and TWAT, and bring our boys/girls home. THEN we use all the money meant for the war on buying everyone motorized scooters and Wii's. Then! There'll be more jobs at the motorized scooter and Wii manufacturers. There'll be more Wii like-inventions and new innovative motorized scooters, creating a boom in jobs, and money into the economy and voila! Vampi's solved life.

:D

chickenboy said...

I like Kyle's idea better...

Bishopk said...

What will happen if our country is attacked?

Vampi. said...

an all out assult with marshmellow shooters. Yes... I DARED to say it.
And if we DON'T pull outta Iraq.. We need to bomb them with MASS quantities of Mousekateer hats. It'd be funny, harmless (unless you got hit in the head), AND insulting since Mickey Mouse (and all rodents) is appearantly one of the devil's devices in their religion.

Word verification of the day:
diessess