Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Why I'm better than you

I think it's pretty obvious already, but I'm better than you. Why?
What grade did you get in Mrs. Benson's class? A D. I got a C. That's a better grade.
How many pairs of pants do you own? Twice as many as me. Therefore, I have less of a need for pants.
Who's the best? Me. It's in my title. Arctic Commando, the best fucking man on the planet, D.D.R.. Dr. Nonsense is nowhere as good. He's evil, like all the best villains are.
When there's trouble, who do you call? Fuschia Group, bitch. Again, not Dr. Nonsense.
You're an atheist, right? That means you're not going to heaven. BOOO.
Liberals scare me. That's okay, though. I light them on fire.

Apoligies for the low quality of posts these few days. Matt's not funny, I'm trying too hard, and Jack's in Europe. Read the full article.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The little toaster who 2 did y

Well. I would like to start by saying that when you search for wisecrack express in googles search you get this website as the first second third and a lot of results after that. My doing. Your welcome. lol. It is also in part because this is the greatest, best, most freeist country God ever gave man on the face of the earth. Its true, because a well distinguished famous guy said it. Over and over and over. I don't know who he is though. Whoops.

I'v decided that over this summer I am going to work on creating a knowledge bowl song. I will use commercials, movies, and varius other famous videos to create a movie about how "cool" nerds are. I will post it here first, so you'll be the first to know how it goes. Maybe I'll post the first half when I finish it. Read the full article.

Stab yourself a liver and listen to my story...

It was a dark and stormy knight. Three brothers rested on the side of the road at this one forest in Utah. The oldest one was way too awesome to be caught with the other two, so he ran away. The other brothers chased him. He shouted at them, "To stop! To stop!" But they did not to stop. Oh no. The second child was very fast. He to run (and almost to knock down!) the oldest child. Unfortugnately, a stroke of lightening stopped the child, and made him do much of his math homework.
That left the youngest child to stop the running siblign. His was could fly. He fly over to older boy and stoppoed him from to running. Ha ha said the olding boy, for he was super strong. He swatted the youngeer like a fly swats a fly swatter.
But suddenly, the fat one came out of his room, for he to finish his math. He won the war on drugs. He stop the olding from being not embarrassed.
All three of them were subsequently eaten by a the werewolf.
In conclusion, the three boys' names were (in chronological order) Strong, Fast, and Fly.
Read the full article.