Friday, September 19, 2008

Sidenote:

Go here. Read the whole article. I promise I won't vent political frustrations in this post. This article is my venting for the whole ... month. This is the best article I've read in months. Years, maybe.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/2008/09/19/dear-media-whats-this-election-about Read the full article.

Monday, September 15, 2008

James Fenimore Cooper

I'll start out this post by saying: I am not a homophobe, I'm a gay rapistaphobe. Big diffrence. Normal gay people are fine as long as they don't try to rape me. Or (to put it in james' words) "dick around" after I fall asleep.

Second I would like to repeat possibly the funniest thing I'v heard this week, because I can't resist the urge: Obama said something to the effect of "putting lipstick on a pig doesn't mean it's not a pig." Do I think he was talking about any particular person? I didn't. Untill I heard the proof. This is such strong evidence that nobody could even try to deny it. Here it comes..."Palin is from Alaska, Alaskas second largest city is Fairbanks, Dougless Fairbanks was a silent movie star, stars change Hydrogen to Helium, When you Inhale Helium your voice gets higher, Womens voices are higher then men, and Women wear lipstick!!! Ergo, Obama was clearly refering to Palin when he made his Lipstick comment. Wow, he left a huge fucking hole in his story, didn't he?

Thirdly, because I don't really have much else to say, I'll actualy have to leave the computer and go start to do my homework. I still have Math, German, and Chemistry to do tonight, and it's close to 11 pm. Maybe I'll stay up all night, just because I havn't done it in a considerable amount of time...Oh, except I have surgery tomorrow, so maybe I shouldn't...or maybe thats double the reason I should. I'll have to see how long it takes me to do my homework, ay? Read the full article.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

UnNews: Large Hadron Collider "destroys God by accident"

Because Uncyclopedia is amazing, and I want to start this week off fast:
Source

GENEVA, Switzerland – Concerns that the Large Hadron Collider might destroy the Earth proved unfounded on Wednesday, but scientists warned that they may instead have accidentally destroyed God shortly after powering up the machine.

Detectors in the $10 billion machine recorded a massive outburst of Higgs bosons, nicknamed the "God particle" about 3 seconds into the first experiment. Scientists speculate that God may have accidentally strayed into the high-powered opposing beams of protons the collider generates, and been disintegrated.

"We detected so many Higgs bosons in such a short space of time, there's little chance God could have survived," said Dr Tara Sheers, a particle physicist from the University of Manchester.

Despite the unexpected results from the collider's first day of operations, the public should not be concerned over the safety of the machine, said Professor Jim Vordee, a particle physicist at Imperial College London.

Moreover, today's accident should not greatly impact the world's major religions, he said.

"From the results of today's experiment, we can conclude that while God probably did exist, He probably doesn't now.

"Theologically speaking, this is much the same position we were in on Tuesday. It's ironic that at the very instant that we had scientific evidence of the existence of God, He most probably ceased to exist."

Officials at the organization that operates the collider - the European Organization for Nuclear Research, better known by its French acronym Cern – have yet to make a statement on God's probable destruction.

However, Steve Myars, head of the accelerator and beam department at Cern, said some sort of letter of apology and condolences to the leaders of the world's major religions might be in order.

"We really didn't mean to 'do a Nietzsche' as it were, and kill God, but then again, God's been dead for over three hours now, and things still seem to be going on pretty much as usual in the universe.

"God may have been destroyed, but it's not the end of the world."
Read the full article.

Parties at Tony's House

People slept! And it was organized! What the hell? I'm playing Rock Band with everyone, and all three of them (Tony, Marc, Swett) just get up, pick up their sleeping instruments, and walk over to the couches.

Screw that, I said to myself, and how about some one player games? Practice guitar, play a little Assassin's Creed (which is good, but not great. The overarching storyline makes very little sense, and action-wise it's not that different from Prince of Persia, and just as unrealistic physically), get on the computer, play some Spore (Whoa. That game kicks serious evolutionary ass. It's not really realistic, because you don't really evolve body parts, you just slap them on, but it's still a creative, engaging, very replayable game that I'd highly reccommend to anyone with a good enough rig), and just generally dick around while everyone else was sleeping.

It was a good plan, right up until the morning after. Everyone wakes up, "Woo hoo! Okay, let's start packing up! Oo, muffins!"

I'm sprawled in front of the TV, barely alive, with a half-eaten muffin sitting on my lap, trying not to fall asleep.

All in all a good party that Tony should invite more people for next time.
Read the full article.