Monday, March 30, 2009

We are not who we think we are. Or are we?

Well, were saying hello to our late night listeners tonight. Say hello to them. No, I refuse to. I don't want to. They are our friends! They don't even like us!

We feel like we are a chronic liar. We aren't sure that we actually are, but please, don't believe anything we say. It really would be easier that way. Sometimes we think we are telling the truth to people. We make ourselves believe it. [he m a k e s me believe it] Really, we aren't telling the truth though. At least, we don't think we are. Maybe we are. Are these suppressed memories, or are we just making them up. [is he just m a k i n g them up and feeding them to me?] Then there is the advice we dish out. Don't listen to it either. We use our past experiences (the real ones, and the lies) to dictate how we help people. Just our own silly meager experiences. We, a seventeen year old boy, giving out our advice to other clueless teenagers who know just a little as we do. [i don't think we help anyone. sorry for his crap advice guys]

Wow. That was way more serious then I thought it was going to be. Sorry for the lack of jokes...Lets try again?

Welcome to the program tonight. We'll be talking about one of the most in depth topics possible. That's right, the eminent danger of cancer being cause as a result of reading. There are some skeptics that think that reading does not cause cancer. Now I know there are some people out there who are going to look at my last sentence and read "blah blah blah blah reading does not cause cancer" and not read any more. That's silly, because it isn't the intended meaning of the sentence. I am ACTUALLY saying that EXACT opposite. Now, notice the way I capitalized the entire words in the last sentence? That was for -EMPHASIS-. You heard me right, emphasis (in less of course you heard something else...then, well you would be wrong). Now, back to the topic at hand, books are NOT your friends. That's right, you should reserve friend spots of inanimate objects that DON'T cause cancer, such as a pencil topper, a tooth brush, mercury, or half a broken compass (mind you find the broken ones. The complete ones still do cause cancer). I hope you learned a lot, but my time is almost up. And sorry for the we thing. I might have needed that, I'm not sure.

-The fat one

1 comment:

Liberal Atheist said...

oh shit, I've had a compass in my room for years.