Monday, August 24, 2009

Existential Ramblings, Part Two

More from your favorite, formerly-depressed Absurdist!


This was originally written in the wee hours of July 24, 2009, And I had been running on very little sleep.... So, take the time to read the musings of a sleep-deprivewd, semi-depressed teenager if you so wish...

"How... absurd the lives we live are... Utterly pointless, mundane... In the end, our dreams, our hopes, our capability to feel emotion, our beings are.... void. Nothing at all. It is pathetic, how weak we are. How atatched we are to the mortal world. Why does one evade death? Why Delay the inevitable? Sure, we can try to make an impact on those around us. We can atempt to to create a legacy, to, in a way, attain immortality...yet such attempts are meaningless.... Given enough time. There is no history that remains constant, there are a limitless number of ways that any one event in the past can be interpreted..
I am starting to ramble now... My mind is floating from one topic to the next with great ease. But I digress....
Existence. Just by existing, one is risking the end of said existence. Nothing can be certain when it comes to life, other than death. We all die, no matter what the fuck we do to slow death's arrival. So why the hell do we cling to this metaphoric journey to death? Is it because we want to be happy? As an Atheist/nihilist/whatever-the-hell-I am, I believe that there is nothing following death. No conciousness to feel sadness or anger, no ability fo feel loss, longing, or regret. Why should I care about my happiness, or getting the most out of my life? I cease to exist in a mental state following death. Everything I know, every memory I have.... will be gone. As is my so-called soul, or consciousness. I might as well go jump off of a bridge... Suffocate myself, as I once attempted to do long ago... Overdose....
Sure, you could say I have so much to live for, but do I really need to lve for it? After my existence is over, I will not even have the capability to to look back and think, "those were great times", or, "I really wish I had more fun"...Why do I need to make the most of my life? As cruel and heartless as this sounds, IF I was seriously contemplating suicide, the reactions of my friends and relatives would have no meaning to me..... No ability to feel, or remember after death, remember? At least, in my book....... But Christianity, Buddhism, and other religions are for another day, another handwritten page.....
Life is ultimately meaningless, and any attempt to apply meaning to it is yet another futile, absurd attempt to justify how desprately we cling to this pitiful existence....."

1 comment:

Harbinger said...

http://thisisthefinalhope.blogspot.com/