Wednesday, April 1, 2009

More Random Idiocy - In The News!

Since everyone's being.... weird. I'll add humor to the blog!

I decided to give links to all the ridiculous news stories my friends and I have found recently. Should be fun, right? :D

What A Smart Kid!
- If my brother did that... my mom would probably have hung him by his toenails from the ceiling fan!

Heeeeere Kitty Kitty!
- I have a cat who gets up inside the recliner. Not pleasant to get a cat claw in the tush when you're trying to take a nap. xD

Dig In Boys!
- I think the label "dietary disaster" would be a GREAT name for it! How many men would go to a game and think... "Oh yeah, THAT's what I want!" It'd TOTALLY sell!

An Apple A Day Keeps The Coppers Away!
- Now you can tell your parents why it's bad to eat fruit. :D

Not A News Article, but DAMN Funny.
- *Plays the theme to Jaws*

Well... that's all for today. How about an assignment for everyone?

Limericks! We need limericks. We've done haiku's. Why not limericks? And how about... Easter for the theme. :D Get crackin' boys!

♥ Vampi

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Monday, March 30, 2009

We are not who we think we are. Or are we?

Well, were saying hello to our late night listeners tonight. Say hello to them. No, I refuse to. I don't want to. They are our friends! They don't even like us!

We feel like we are a chronic liar. We aren't sure that we actually are, but please, don't believe anything we say. It really would be easier that way. Sometimes we think we are telling the truth to people. We make ourselves believe it. [he m a k e s me believe it] Really, we aren't telling the truth though. At least, we don't think we are. Maybe we are. Are these suppressed memories, or are we just making them up. [is he just m a k i n g them up and feeding them to me?] Then there is the advice we dish out. Don't listen to it either. We use our past experiences (the real ones, and the lies) to dictate how we help people. Just our own silly meager experiences. We, a seventeen year old boy, giving out our advice to other clueless teenagers who know just a little as we do. [i don't think we help anyone. sorry for his crap advice guys]

Wow. That was way more serious then I thought it was going to be. Sorry for the lack of jokes...Lets try again?

Welcome to the program tonight. We'll be talking about one of the most in depth topics possible. That's right, the eminent danger of cancer being cause as a result of reading. There are some skeptics that think that reading does not cause cancer. Now I know there are some people out there who are going to look at my last sentence and read "blah blah blah blah reading does not cause cancer" and not read any more. That's silly, because it isn't the intended meaning of the sentence. I am ACTUALLY saying that EXACT opposite. Now, notice the way I capitalized the entire words in the last sentence? That was for -EMPHASIS-. You heard me right, emphasis (in less of course you heard something else...then, well you would be wrong). Now, back to the topic at hand, books are NOT your friends. That's right, you should reserve friend spots of inanimate objects that DON'T cause cancer, such as a pencil topper, a tooth brush, mercury, or half a broken compass (mind you find the broken ones. The complete ones still do cause cancer). I hope you learned a lot, but my time is almost up. And sorry for the we thing. I might have needed that, I'm not sure.

-The fat one

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Hey guys,

I can post this here because I know Dani doesn't read this blog. (Neither does anyone else.) But I need to write this somewhere. And I don't want to do it right now, because I'm talking over Skype and I know now how ignominious it'll sound.

You knew you were getting into trouble when I asked you out. I mean, you're my first girlfriend and everything. I'm completely inexperienced when it comes to love. Yeah, I had my heart broken, once. Other than that, nothing.

So you can understand, the first time I doubted the strength of our relationship, I completely freaked out. I didn't want to end up like Emily and Kyle, trapped in a relationship they couldn't seem to escape.

But I understand now that I care about you way too much. And I just want to make you happy. And yeah, I feel that way about pretty much everyone - I hate hurting people, and I'm usually pretty nice. But it's way, way more when it comes to you. Breaking your breaking my heart. And I need to stop this. I LOVE YOU.

So tomorrow morning, I'm going to say something like this. In person. Well, I say that I'm going to say it. I'm probably going to fumble through the first few words, get really embarrassed, and then just kiss you. That will probably get the message across.

Love, (sorry about there not being any comedy, guys...couldn't think of anywhere else to put this that she couldn't see)

James Read the full article.